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New Found Freedom

Who knew living in close quarters with 14 strangers could end up being so sweet. 

Coming into training camp I had a lot of fears, and if I’m being completely transparent I worried I wasn’t gonna find my people or I was gonna automatically feel super homesick. But The Lord is so sweet to me. I stepped into the room that would become home for the next 14 days and felt at complete peace. Peace in knowing I’m exactly where God wants me to be. Through my doubts and through my fears I have learned that God is so gracious. He has met me in the sweetest ways. I quickly found people who now I look at and I can’t imagine my life without them. Friends who encourage, friends who call me higher, friends who fight for me, friends who just love well. HOW SWEET IS PAPA?!

A couple days into training camp the Lord began to show me places where I had not fully trusted Him. Areas that I thought I had healed from. Areas that I had been REALLY good at covering up. All of these things came to light when I was met with the “fitness hike”. Truly one of the hardest things I have ever done. I thought I had it. My every doubt, every insecurity, every fear, everything I thought I had healed from met me at the bottom of a massive hill. I broke. (Shoutout to my squad mentor Kylee for literally talking me off a ledge.) Every doubt that was spoken was met with a truth the Lord said about me. Every lie that was spoken over me was met with a promise of the creator. I eventually finished (not in the time requirement) and then Kylee looked at me and said, “You did it, but we are gonna have you do it again.” Immediately I was met with those same fears I thought I had just gotten over. But then something clicked in me. Throughout the week the words strength and freedom were consistently spoken over me. It legitimately felt like every hour a different person would come up to me and say, “The Lord gave me this word for you,” and it always had something to do with being free or how they see so much strength in me.  

So I brought it to the Lord and truly asked Him what that meant, and here’s what I got: I think for a long time I thought I was living in “freedom”. I thought that the things of my past or the words that were spoken over me didn’t hold weight in my heart, but I realized I was living a life in bondage of those very things. You see, I like to think I’m pretty tough on the outside; I like to think that I don’t allow words or past hurts to effect me, but dang was I wrong. There were some things that The Lord revealed to me that cut real deep. Things I thought were okay or thought didn’t effect me. HA, I was so wrong. He brought those things to light. I had to deal with those very things – like really get to the root of things. I spent a lot of time on my face, a lot of time crying, a lot of time praying for those very things. Praying for freedom from those things. Forgiving people I thought I had already dealt with. Forgiving myself. But dang SO FREEING. 

So it came time to do the fitness hike again. But this time I felt different. Something in my heart was different. Something I went into last time being SO SCARED about. I felt confident about. I started off pretty strong in my opinion. I was feeling good about my time. Until I got to the same dreaded hill where I broke last time. I began to let those same doubts and fears creep in, and I yelled for a second, but then was met with an OVERWHELMING sense of peace. And it was in that moment I met Jesus as freedom. 

There was freedom from doubt, freedom from lies, freedom from the fear of not being enough. I just felt free. Don’t get me wrong, the hill still kicked my butt. But this time I did it knowing full well that I could. Those lies that were coming up the first time suddenly didn’t hold weight over me. 

Jesus is sweet. He’s working. He’s teaching me a lot about who I am in Him. He’s showing me my role in the Body. He’s giving me a voice to speak. He’s teaching me to be obedient to His promptings. He’s teaching me to trust. He’s teaching me to love well. 

Also God is funny. I get to Colombia and the hills here make the hill back a training camp look like a piece of cake. So pray for me y’all. 

I just love what Jesus in doing through me. Through my team. Through my squad. 

 

LIFE IS SWEET. <3

 

Until next time. 

8 Comments

  1. Keep climbing those hills. God is always with you and he loves you so much.I am proud of you Addi.

  2. Addi, you’re killing it girl! I’m so proud of you & so happy to hear all that God is teaching & revealing to you. I pray this year is one that stretches you & pushes you to be the strongest & most confident woman He created you to be! Let Him guide every thought & every footstep. You’re going to do great things friend.

  3. Addi,
    I am an old friend of your mom’s and I am following your journey from Indiana and praying for you. I’m sure there are many of us out here rooting for you! <3

  4. Love this friend! One thing that the lord revealed to me this year is that the chains are already broken. We just need to choose to take them off. He broke them for us on that cross. Praying for you. ?? I love to see people walk in the freedom they are called to. It is such a beautiful thing. You are the bomb.com and I’m so glad to call you friend!

  5. Beautiful girl… I am so proud of you. You are so much stronger than you know. Even though you are just beginning this journey, I can see the Lord already beginning to peel away the layers of hurt and lies you have believed. I love your beautiful heart…. lean in…. receive all that He has for you then turn around and give it away. Climb those hills; Jesus is climbing with you!

  6. Love this story of Freedom and all the ways God is leading you so closely! Excited for you and this amazing journey! Yay!!

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